One Of "Those Mornings"

It's one of the "those mornings". 

Firstly, I woke up with a headache.  While reaching into the medicine cabinet for a Motrin, I noticed that despite using Proactive for the last week religiously, I have a new volcanic eruption (aka pimple) on my chin, on the opposite side of the other one I have been trying to get rid of for the past week. 

I will be 35 years old next month and I am still acne-prone. 

I wonder if Pam would deem this as my "inner child" trying to come forward.  (C'mon that's funny)

So then I throw on some sweatpants to come downstairs, and have one of those horrid moments when you realize that you can no longer fool yourself into believing that your expanding waistline is imaginary.  Or just "water weight".  Or the result of maybe shrinking the clothes in the dryer. 

The size of my ass is erupting in sync with my chin pores.  I cannot deny it. 

On my decent down the stairs, I see the mayhem that is my house glaring at me, as if to say, "Clean me.  Today.  Or else."

 I am learning that teenagers/tweens are creatures that are hard to tame.  They are messy.  They sleep alot.  They eat five times as much as I do.  They "forget" all things associated with responsibility and accountability.  They seriously wear the dumbest looking shit and yet feel it imperative to insist to me that they look cool. 

And then layer on some more dumb shit to stress the point. 

Puberty makes them stink.  No matter how gently I try to tell them that they must adjust their hygiene habits to match the changes in their bodies, their little brains still believe two showers a week are suffice; and simply dousing themselves with cheap cologne is the best way to cover the problem.  I guess turning on running water, lathering soap, and towel drying are too strenuous for their growing bones.  Teenage osteoporosis I guess. 

I will leave the topic of their hair for another blog.  My head hurts too bad to dive into that one. 

So as I'm coming down the stairs and noticing, as I said, the mayhem that is my house---as well as the strange creatures that my children have morphed into---I then turn to my dogs....my babies.....my little bundles of fat furry joy...for solace and comfort.  For it is my dogs, Tiki and Bonsai, that remind me the world can still be a wonderful place with all of their licks, pouncing around, clever tricks, and snuggles. 

And what do I see? 

Tiki has gotten into the trash can, and is gaily chewing on some leftover french fries from yesterday.  How the little shit (she is a french bulldog/pug mix) got into the trash is a mystery.  I seriously can't figure it out. 

And Bonsai has apparently had an episode of loose stool outside; because she is dragging her ass across the floor pet leaving a remarkably well-defined brown streak on the one part of my house that is clean:  the carpet.  Once I yell her name to stop, she looks at me as if to remind me that I had a nervous breakdown, and the horror is all in my head.   She proceeds to sit back down on the carpet with her poopy behind, and turns circles to wipe herself. 

Right next to the poopy streak, was a poopy polka dot. 

And my kids are looking at me like I am the one who should be cleaning this up.  As if I get paid extra money or something. 

As if cleaning up poop is going to make them stink.  *snort*

So I must close this blog and start the cleaning spree.  Hopefully I will find my camera, and post some pics of some craftyish things I am working on.  My Mile-A-Minute afghan is sloooow going, but is coming along gorgeously.  Gorgeous enough to be a Christmas present for Greg, I think.  There are 8 panels total, and I am just about to finish the forth.  Half-way there!  I am also planning on starting a Christmas afghan for the house, but haven't decided on a pattern yet.  If anyone has any suggestions or pattern links, let me know!